Picture this: it’s one of those days at work where it feels like it’s everyone’s mission to get on your nerves. One colleague hasn’t met their deadline, while another did a shoddy job on a project, so you practically have to redo it. You feel like you have to put out fire after fire.
You just about keep it together, just enough to get you home. But you open the door, and your partner hasn’t done something they promised to do, or the house was left in a mess, and bam. Seething anger that you can’t control. As soon as you see them, you let everything out, and they’re left wondering, “What on Earth just happened?”
This is a classic case of displaced anger in adults. We’ll all be familiar with days like this—we’ve all had them. However, for some, displaced anger becomes all too common and starts to damage their lives in multiple ways.
Below, we’ll explore what displaced anger is and its emotional, behavioral, and physical signs, as well as the causes of displaced anger and the treatment options available.
What Is Displaced Anger?
Displaced anger is any form of anger that is directed at someone other than the actual source of frustration.[1] For instance, a person who is angry with their boss may take anger out on their spouse.
Displaced anger can be a coping mechanism. For instance, when someone does not feel safe expressing their anger to the person it’s truly aimed at, such as an authority figure, they may take the anger out on someone less intimidating.[2]
This pattern of displacing anger often starts when we’re children—if we grew up in an unhealthy or abusive home, where it didn’t feel safe to express our anger, we may store it up and redirect it towards someone else.
But this isn’t the only way anger can get displaced. Displaced anger can also be directed inward, blaming or shaming ourselves for the situation, rather than focusing the anger on the person triggering it. Alternatively, it may be directed at a group of people, leading to scapegoating or prejudice.[3]
Signs of Displaced Anger
It’s not always easy knowing whether what we’re experiencing is displaced anger or just regular old anger. After all, displaced anger can be deceptive, making us believe that we’re directing it at a particular person for a valid reason.
However, there are signs we can look out for to distinguish whether the anger we’re experiencing is, in fact, displaced.
Emotional Signs of Displaced Anger
The most common emotional signs of displaced anger include[4]:
- Intense anger, irritability, or frustration
- You can’t figure out exactly why you’re angry
- Thinking deeply about your anger, causing it to build
- Your anger feels difficult to control, leading to strong emotional outbursts
- Your feelings seem disproportionate to the event that supposedly triggered it
Behavioral Signs of Displaced Anger
There are also several typical behavioral signs of displaced anger, such as[4]:
- Acting passive-aggressively
- Making sarcastic or belittling comments in a jokey way
- Lashing out at people and wondering why you did so afterward
- Getting angry at people you feel safe with (such as a partner or friend)
Physical Signs of Displaced Anger
Displaced anger shows up as physical signs, too. These can include[4]:
- Tension headaches
- Stomach aches and discomfort
- Muscle tightness and other stress-related symptoms
- Your body feeling “revved up” or like your anger is there, waiting to be triggered
If you’ve noticed these signs in yourself or a loved one, it may be that you’re struggling with displaced anger. So, what’s the cause?
What Causes Displaced Anger?
There hasn’t been a whole lot of research on displaced anger or its underlying causes. However, certain factors have been shown to increase the risk of displaced anger in adulthood. Let’s explore each in turn.
1. Childhood Experiences and Displaced Anger
Studies show that our childhood experiences influence how we cope with difficult feelings, including anger. For example, if you experienced maltreatment as a child—in the form of abuse or neglect—you may be more likely to displace anger and project it onto innocent people as an adult.[5]
While more research is needed to understand the link between adverse childhood experiences and displaced anger, it may be possible that the childhood home was not perceived as a “safe” place to express anger. As anger doesn’t simply disappear, it may have become suppressed and reveal itself at later times in our lives, when we feel safe.
For example, therapists often have anger projected onto them in the therapy room. This is often because therapists offer a safe, non-judgmental space to express your emotions. Fortunately, when displaced anger shows up in the therapy room, the therapist can work with you to understand and address it.
2. Coping Strategies and Displaced Anger
If you weren’t shown how to manage difficult feelings such as anger in healthy ways as a child, you may have developed unhealthy ways of coping. Research suggests that when adults have healthy ways of expressing their emotions and coping strategies to manage these, they’re less likely to displace or suppress anger.[6]
On the flip side of this, if we don’t learn healthy coping strategies or emotion expression as children, we are more likely to come up with our own ways of managing difficult emotions like anger. These methods could involve displacing anger.[6]
3. Mental Health Issues and Displaced Anger
People struggling with certain mental health issues may also be more likely to use unhealthy coping strategies to manage anger, including displacing anger. For example, research suggests that people with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder are likely to use harmful methods to manage their emotions, such as emotion suppression or displacement.[7]
Research also suggests that those with depression use unhealthy defense mechanisms that increase the risk of anger becoming displaced. They’re also typically more likely to deny anger or use passive-aggressive behaviors. What’s more, anger is often displaced inward in people with depression, causing difficulties with self-esteem.[8]
The Effects of Displaced Anger
According to studies, displaced anger can have a marked effect on our mental health, relationships, and professional life.
Effects of Displaced Anger on Mental Health
Displaced anger may put us at a higher risk of developing mental health difficulties, especially if our anger becomes projected inward. Experts suggest that anger turned inward can worsen our symptoms of depression.[9]
However, when we consider the relationship between displaced anger and mental health, it begs the question: what came first? Mental health difficulties or displaced anger?
It may be that displaced anger increases the risk of or exacerbates existing mental health difficulties, or vice versa. More research is needed on this to get to the nitty-gritty of it.
Effects of Displaced Anger on Relationships
If you direct all of your work-related or historic anger (built up through years of suppressing anger) toward a certain person, it’s bound to cause difficulties at some stage. Directing your anger and frustration at those you love can cause rifts between you, pushing them away or leading to relationship breakdowns.
What’s more, if you find it difficult to manage your anger and find that it takes control in unexpected moments, it’s possible that this anger could lead to physical or verbal aggression towards others. This can, of course, be highly detrimental to relationships.
Effects of Displaced Anger on Professional Life
If your displaced anger is directed toward your coworkers, or the anger building up inside you comes out at work, you may struggle to hold down a job or get along with your coworkers.
If displaced anger leads to prejudice or scapegoating, you may experience difficulties working alongside certain people if they fall into this category. This could lead to disciplinary actions at work and, in severe cases, redundancy.[3]
Furthermore, research shows that displaced anger increases your risk of engaging in criminal or violent behaviors. Receiving any criminal convictions could cause you to lose a job or struggle to secure employment.[4]
Therapy Treatment for Displaced Anger
When focusing on the potential repercussions of displacing anger, it can feel like there’s no hope. However, that’s far from the case—you can learn effective strategies for managing anger in healthy ways, so anger doesn’t become displaced. Therapy can help you learn the tools you need to manage your anger.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is a form of psychotherapy that involves working with a therapist to focus on how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected. There are several key benefits of CBT for displaced anger[4][10]:
- Identify Distorted Thinking Patterns: CBT techniques like cognitive restructuring can help individuals recognize and challenge irrational or inaccurate thoughts that fuel anger. For example, if someone believes that everyone is out to get them, this distorted thinking can lead to misplaced anger and aggression.
- Develop Healthy Coping Strategies: CBT equips individuals with practical strategies to manage anger, such as relaxation techniques, communication training, and problem-solving skills. These skills can help you respond to anger triggers in a less destructive way.
- Behavior Changes: By addressing both thoughts and behaviors, CBT can help you break the cycle of displaced anger and develop healthier ways of expressing and managing your emotions.
Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT is a different form of psychotherapy that uses elements of acupuncture alongside CBT. It involves tapping on specific acupressure points on the body while focusing on the emotions and physical sensations associated with a particular issue. EFT can help displaced anger by[11]:
- Identifying Underlying Emotions: By focusing on the physical sensations associated with anger, EFT can help you identify the underlying emotions that may be contributing to your anger. These underlying emotions might include sadness, fear, or resentment.
- Alleviating Unresolved Anger: EFT can help you process and release unresolved anger that may be stemming from your past experiences. This can help reduce the intensity of your anger triggers, allowing you to manage your anger in the moment, rather than displacing it onto others at a later time.
Trauma-Informed Therapy
Trauma-informed therapy recognizes the impact traumatic experiences can have on our emotions and body. With a trauma-informed therapist, you can:
- Address Unresolved Trauma: Trauma-informed therapy can help you process and heal from past traumas. This, in turn, can reduce the intensity of your anger and teach you coping strategies to manage anger when it bubbles up.
- Experience Safety and Trust: This therapy approach prioritizes safety and trust, helping you to explore your suppressed or displaced anger in a comfortable, non-judgmental environment.
It’s important to note that, whichever treatment approach you use, prioritize finding an organization that goes out of its way to meet your needs and support you. Feeling safe and trusting of the therapist or organization you work with can make all the difference in overcoming displaced anger.
Get Support for Displaced Anger in Adults
It’s not fun to be on the receiving end of displaced anger, that’s for sure. But often, the guilt and shame that comes with flipping out on those we love can feel just as difficult. If you’re struggling with displaced anger, know that you don’t have to manage this alone.
At Mission Connection, we offer a personalized treatment approach for anyone who comes to us struggling with displaced anger. Our licensed therapists can help you understand the root cause of your displaced anger, allowing you to finally understand where it’s coming from. By offering personalized support every step of the way, you can learn to identify your triggers, recognize when it’s displaced anger, and use healthier coping strategies.
We may use a combination of techniques, such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or CBT. However, we’ll talk you through this, giving you the chance to ask questions or choose the right treatment approach for you.
We pride ourselves on making our treatment options highly accessible to everyone, regardless of your income. With that in mind, we offer multiple payment options, so you don’t have to sacrifice your mental health because you can’t afford it.
If you’re ready to work on your displaced anger, get in touch with our team.
Displaced Anger FAQs
What is displaced (or misplaced) anger (or aggression)?
Displaced anger is when someone directs frustration or rage toward someone or something other than the actual source of their anger.
Why does displaced anger happen?
It often happens because the original anger feels too unsafe or unacceptable to express, so it is redirected.
Can displaced anger affect my relationships?
Yes — it can damage trust, communication, and emotional safety if anger is misdirected repeatedly.
How is displaced anger treated?
Treatment includes therapies that help identify triggers, process underlying feelings, and develop healthier anger responses.
How long does it take to manage displaced anger?
Time varies — many begin to see change in a few months; deeper habits may require longer ongoing support.
References
- American Psychological Association. Displaced aggression. In APA Dictionary of Psychology. https://dictionary.apa.org/displaced-aggression
- Metzger, J. A. (2014). Adaptive defense mechanisms: function and transcendence. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 70(5), 478–488. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22091
- Fletcher, J. (2023). What is displacement, and how does it work? Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/displacement-psychology
- Salguero, J. M. et al. (2020). Individual differences in anger and displaced aggression: the role of metacognitive beliefs and anger rumination. Aggressive Behavior, 46(2), 162–169. https://doi.org/10.1002/ab.21878
- Gruhn, M. A., & Compas, B. E. (2020). Effects of maltreatment on coping and emotion regulation in childhood and adolescence: a meta-analytic review. Child Abuse & Neglect, 103, 104446. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2020.104446
- Besharat, M. A., Hosseini Nezhad, E. M., & Lavasani, M. G. (2015). The mediating role of cognitive emotion regulation strategies on the relationship between alexithymia, anger, and anger rumination with ego defense styles. BJCP, 9(2), 29–48. https://bjcp.ir/browse.php?a_id=609&sid=1&slc_lang=en
- Dodd, A. et al. (2019). Emotion regulation strategies in bipolar disorder: a systematic and critical review. Journal of Affective Disorders, 246, 262–284. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2018.12.026
- Busch, F. N. (2009). Anger and depression. Advances in psychiatric treatment, 15(4), 271-278.
- van Eck, M. et al. (1996). The effects of perceived stress, traits, mood states, and stressful daily events on salivary cortisol. Psychosomatic medicine, 58(5), 447–458. https://doi.org/10.1097/00006842-199609000-00007
- Henwood, K. S., Chou, S., & Browne, K. D. (2015). A systematic review and meta-analysis on the effectiveness of cbt-informed anger management. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 25(Part B), 280–292. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2015.09.011
- Diamond, G. M. et al. (2016). Attachment-based family therapy and emotion-focused therapy for unresolved anger: the role of productive emotional processing. Psychotherapy, 53(1), 34–44. https://doi.org/10.1037/pst0000025