When someone we love is struggling, it’s natural to want to help them in any way we can. We want to support them, but without clear boundaries, you can become drained emotionally. You might find yourself feeling stressed or burnt-out, as though your mental health is now suffering too.1 We know that people often feel guilty about setting limits in case they come across as uncaring, but setting boundaries in mental health support is essential for both the person struggling and those supporting them.
On this page, you’ll discover what healthy boundaries are, why they are needed when supporting someone you care about, and how to go about establishing boundaries with someone in treatment so that you aren’t left feeling guilty or burnt out. You’ll also find some self-care strategies, and learn the answers to common questions about navigating this complex dynamic in a caring relationship.
What Are Healthy Boundaries?
Put simply, a boundary is a limit that keeps you separate from others. Boundaries can be found in any relationship, whether that’s romantic, friends, family, work-based, or something else. Healthy boundaries set the rules and expectations for appropriate behavior in our relationships so that everyone involved is kept safe physically, emotionally, and mentally.2
They are important for self-care and for having good relationships. But there isn’t a hard-and-fast rule for what healthy boundaries look like for everyone because we are all different. They can vary by situation, personality, and culture. For example, the boundaries you have for work colleagues could be completely different from those you have with your romantic partner.
Have you ever felt like someone has invaded your personal space by standing too close to you on a crowded train? Or when someone comes up and gives you a hug, but you aren’t usually touchy-feely with that person? That feeling is what happens when our personal boundary is being pushed by someone else.
You may already have some boundaries set with your friends and family but have never known they have a name. Some healthy boundaries include things like:
- Saying no to things you don’t want or have time to do
- Only tell people things about yourself that you are comfortable sharing
- Deciding who you have physical contact with (hugs, handshakes and so on)
- Respecting people’s right to privacy
- Sharing or not sharing food or drink with others
- Keeping a work-life balance
- Deciding how shared spaces are used in shared living situations
Importance of Healthy Boundaries With Loved Ones in Therapy
Now that you know what healthy boundaries look like, you can see why maintaining personal boundaries in caregiving is so important. Healthy boundaries keep you and the other person safe, and when someone is in therapy certain limits may need to be set to help them recover. If the person you care about is in therapy, healthy boundaries need to be communicated so that you will be protecting your mental health while helping others. Even though friends and family can be a huge source of love and support, needs and expectations need to be clearly communicated so that hurt, stress, and resentment are avoided.
Setting healthy boundaries will:3
- Protect your mental health: If you clearly say what you’re comfortable with and not comfortable with, you’ll be less likely to feel stressed, burnt out, or resentful.
- Encourage healthy relationships: It’s easier to get along and understand each other when everyone knows each other’s limits.
- Encourage independence: Having healthy boundaries makes sure that people don’t defer to someone else for decisions or support all of the time. This is especially true when the person can care for themself but wants other people to do it for them.
- Prevent conflict: If you’ve set expectations from the very beginning, you’re less likely to have misunderstandings and potential for conflict or arguments.
How to Set Limits When Supporting Someone
You know that there needs to be boundaries in caregiver relationships, but how exactly do you put these in place? What do you say? Well, we’ve got some tips below for how to set healthy boundaries in therapy support, so keep reading if the idea of it leaves you feeling a bit nervous.4,5
Decide Your Limits
Where you set your limits is a personal decision, and may take some thinking to decide upon. You might want to consider the following:
- How much support you are able and willing to provide
- What practical help you can provide (transport, food, chores)
- Personal hygiene needs
- Attending medical appointments
- What happens if these limits are broken
Explain the Reasons for the Boundary
This may help you to realize why you are setting the boundaries in the first place. For example, imagine you say you can drive them to future medical appointments as long as you have 24 hours notice. You could explain that you need to find childcare, give work notice that you need time off or you need to hire a car to drive, and so on. It will help them understand that you are setting boundaries for specific reasons and not randomly making up rules.
Follow Through With Boundaries
Setting the boundaries can be quite easy, it’s sticking with them and following through if they are broken that can be the most difficult part. Decide on consequences for boundaries being broken, and don’t feel guilty for enforcing the resulting action. If you give in and don’t follow through on the consequences, they won’t change their behavior.
If a boundary is broken, you might want to consider doing the following:
- Think about how to respond.
- State what the boundary was and how it was broken.
- Explain how you feel because of it, and restate what is needed. For example, if one of the boundaries was to not shout and swear at you and they do it, you could say something such as “When you shout and swear at me, I feel angry about how you behave. I need to ask you to remember our agreement and respect it”.
Choose the Right Time
If they are behaving aggressively or not thinking clearly, discussing the boundaries can be difficult and it may be better to wait until they have calmed down before talking with them.
Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep
Whether that’s enforcing boundaries, carrying out consequences, or saying you can do something that you actually can’t do.
Self-Care Strategies for Supporters
Supporting and caring for someone can be rewarding but also very draining. It calls for a lot of emotional and physical energy, which is why it’s important to prioritize maintaining self-care while helping others. Research suggests that self-care can help improve your overall well-being if you are a carer.6 So, with that in mind, here are three ways of protecting your well-being while caregiving:
1. Prioritize Your Health
When you start supporting and providing care for someone else, often your own needs can drop to the bottom of the to-do list. But looking after yourself is essential, especially when caring for someone else. Keep up to date with any of your checkups, make sure you’re eating a good balanced diet, and keep on top of any of your own health issues. Research shows exercise can improve your mental well-being so if you’re feeling the toll on your mental health, movement can be a good place to start. You can feel the benefits even from a quick walk around the block.7
2. Seek Support
Finding support is essential for your well-being while you care for others. Studies show that peer support can have a positive effect on caregivers.8 Whether it’s friends, family, or support groups, reaching out for support can help alleviate stress, provide connection, and prevent burnout.
3. Stress Management
Stress, as said earlier, can come from the demands of caring for someone you love, and can feel overwhelming, making it harder to cope. Knowing ways to bring down your stress levels can help with these feelings. Relaxation exercises, breathing exercises, being physically active like doing some quick yoga, and pacing yourself can all help with managing your stress levels.9
Frequently Asked Questions
Below are answers to some of the most common questions people ask about setting healthy limits in mental health caregiving.
How to Say No When Supporting a Loved One
Be honest, direct, and empathic. Acknowledge their feelings, explain what you can or can’t do, and set boundaries. Some starting points might be:
“I know this is a really tough time for you. I want to help you, but I feel overwhelmed with my own commitments at the moment. Can we talk about another way I could support you?”
OR
“I can see how much you need that help right now. I want to be here for you, but I need to prioritize my own well-being at the moment.”
How Do You Support Someone Without Enabling Them?
You can listen to them and offer encouragement but don’t try to solve all of their problems for them. Remember that their recovery is in their own hands, it is not your responsibility. If you’re not sure if you’re enabling them, take a step back and think about boundaries again. Enabling someone often means a lack of boundaries and can keep problems going, whereas supporting someone empowers them to make choices toward their own recovery.10
Get the Support You Need Today
If you’re struggling to support a loved one, know that you are not alone, we are here to help you. At Mission Connection, we have a team of experienced mental health clinicians ready to help you feel better.
When you call our friendly team, you can expect an in-depth assessment by a qualified professional and a completely unique plan designed to help you heal. We’ll be here to support you every step of the way.
We know that the cost of mental health care treatment can be a concern for some people, which is why we offer a range of payment options, including insurance plans, financing plans, and flexible private pay to help spread the costs.
Are you ready to take the first step to feeling better? Contact us today to find out how we can support you.
References
- Dziemianko, K. (2025, January 9). Boundaries and mental health – Change Mental Health. Change Mental Health – a Future Where No One Needs to Face Mental Illness Alone. https://changemh.org/resources/boundaries-and-mental-health/
- Nash, J., PhD. (2025, February 26). How to set healthy boundaries & Build positive relationships. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/
- Calm Editorial Team. (2024, September 25). How to set family boundaries (and why they’re so important) Calm. https://www.calm.com/blog/family-boundaries
- Peisley, T., & Peisley, T. (2025, February 25). Boundary-setting and mental illness. SANE. https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/the-sane-blog/caring-for-others/boundary-setting-and-mental-illness
- Mind. (n.d.). Mental health champions toolkit. https://www.mind.org.uk/media-a/6084/annex-e.pdf
- Van Roij, J., Brom, L., Sommeijer, D., Van De Poll-Franse, L., & Raijmakers, N. (2021). Self-care, resilience, and caregiver burden in relatives of patients with advanced cancer: results from the eQuiPe study. Supportive Care in Cancer, 29(12), 7975–7984. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00520-021-06365-9
- Mental Health Foundation. (n.d.). How to look after your mental health using exercise. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/publications/how-look-after-your-mental-health-using-exercise
- Spiers, G., Tan, M. M., Astbury, J. L., Hall, A., Ahmed, N., Lanyi, K., Williams, O., Beyer, F., Craig, D., & Hanratty, B. (2024). What works to support carers of older people and older carers? an international evidence map of interventions and outcomes. BMC Geriatrics, 24(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12877-024-04897-3
- Carers UK. (n.d.). Dealing with depression and stress. https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/your-health-and-wellbeing/dealing-with-depression-and-stress/
- Pugle, M. (2023, March 27). What is the difference between supporting and enabling? Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-the-difference-between-supporting-and-enabling