A quarter-life crisis can make adulthood feel more like a series of decisions that you are somehow already behind on, instead of like a fresh beginning.
The phrase “quarter-life crisis” is not a formal mental health diagnosis; instead, it is a description of a period of uncertainty that can affect emotional well-being during the twenties and early thirties.
Understanding what lies beneath the uncertainty can help you move forward without forcing yourself to have your entire future figured out. This article can help you navigate this period by exploring:
- What a quarter-life crisis is and common signs of a quarter-life crisis.
- Why early adulthood may feel emotionally difficult.
- The difference between a life transition and a mental health condition.
- Ways to regain direction.
- When therapy may be helpful.
What Is a Quarter-Life Crisis?
A quarter-life crisis is a period of uncertainty or emotional distress that most often occurs during early adulthood. It may arise as someone:
- Completes school.
- Enters the workforce.
- Changes careers.
- Develops serious relationships.
A person may question their career, relationships, identity, goals, and values while comparing themselves with other people their age who seem more settled. Some people find themselves feeling restless and eager to change everything, while other people may feel anxious or unable to make decisions.
Psychologist Jeffrey Arnett used the phrase “emerging adulthood” as a way to describe this period of life. It encapsulates a time of identity exploration and significant change before many people settle into stable adult roles.[1]
This freedom can create both opportunity and uncertainty, as every choice may feel as though it determines the rest of your life.
Common Signs of a Quarter-Life Crisis
Quarter-life crisis symptoms can look different from person to person. However, possible signs may include:
- Feeling behind compared to your peers.
- Worrying that you have made the wrong choices in life.
- Frequently questioning your career path.
- Feeling trapped in a job or relationship.
- Feeling like you want to start over.
- Experiencing anxiety about money or career stability.
- Withdrawing from others.
- Believing that everyone else has adulthood figured out.
- Feeling uncertain about relationships.
- Having difficulty imagining a satisfying future.
Some of these experiences may sound familiar, as they can come and go for everyone due to day-to-day stressors. For example, a stressful work week can lead to some uncertainty about your career, but this does not necessarily mean that you are having a crisis. The concern is when these symptoms become persistent or make it difficult to function.
Why Do Quarter-Life Crises Happen?
A quarter-life crisis typically reflects a combination of different stressors, decisions, social comparisons, and potential life events or changes. Below, we provide an overview of possible contributors to this period of stress.
Too Many High-Stakes Decisions
The twenties and early thirties can bring about a number of decisions, and the outcomes of these may feel permanent, even when they are not. Plus, when several decisions arrive at once, the uncertainty can feel exhausting.
Some decisions that this period of time may involve include:
- Graduating from school and choosing a college.
- Housing changes.
- Marriage.
- Parenthood.
- The development of long-term relationships.
- Location changes.
- Health insurance options.
Career Anxiety
Career anxiety is one of the most common parts of a quarter-life crisis, and it can be especially difficult if:
- Your degree did not lead to the work you expected.
- Your job is poorly paid or unstable.
- You feel burned out early in your career.
- You do not have clear direction.
Social Comparison
Social media tends to make people’s lives appear more settled and appealing than they really are. You may see announcements about promotions, marriages, homes, travel, and children in the highlight reels. But you may not be seeing:
- Debt.
- Relationship struggles.
- Loneliness.
- Uncertainty.
Comparison often turns different timelines into evidence of failure. The problem is not noticing the differences in your life versus someone else’s; it’s assuming that someone else’s timeline defines what your life should look like and the pace at which it should unfold.
Financial Pressure
Adulthood can begin to feel a lot less flexible when you consider:
- Debt.
- Housing costs.
- Unstable work.
- Fluctuating economy.
- Insurance.
- Cost of living.
All these factors may prevent you from moving at a pace that you would like and can be barriers to moving out, going back to school, building savings, and accessing healthcare.
Changing Relationships
Friendships tend to shift during early adulthood as people move, change jobs, start families, or pursue other interests and passions. Even strong relationships may become harder to maintain when priorities change.
Romantic relationships also typically shift during this time, as couples may start to become more serious, exploring commitment, marriage, or family planning, which can introduce an additional dimension of uncertainty.
What’s more, a breakup may intensify identity and future uncertainty. Early adulthood, the twenties and the thirties, is a time when relationships typically intensify – but also sometimes dissolve, with some people experiencing post-breakup depression.
Identity Development
An identity crisis in your twenties may occur as you begin to question beliefs or roles that no longer feel right, including:
- Religious or cultural beliefs.
- Family expectations.
- Gender roles.
- Political values.
- Career ambitions.
- Definitions of success.
Questioning long-held beliefs or roles such as these can lead to existential questions or conflict within dynamics, contributing to quarter-life crises.
Two Common Types of Quarter-Life Crisis
Researchers have described two patterns that may occur during early adulthood:[2]
- Feeling locked out of adult life.
- Feeling locked into commitments that no longer fit.
Feeling Locked Out
A locked-out crisis often occurs when someone wants to move forward but cannot access the opportunities or resources they believe adulthood requires. This may feel like:
- Inability to find secure employment.
- Still depending financially on family.
- Inability to find affordable housing.
- Feeling excluded from romantic or social milestones.
- Not entering the career you trained for.
Feeling Locked In
A locked-in crisis typically occurs when someone has entered adulthood but feels trapped by it. It may feel like:
- Disliking the career you worked hard to enter.
- Feeling committed to a relationship or role that no longer fits.
- Having financial obligations that limit change.
- Feeling unable to leave a job.
- Having built a life around expectations that are not your own.
Some people move between these two experiences, as they may leave one path to escape feeling trapped but then feel locked while trying to establish a new one.
Feeling Lost in Your Twenties or Thirties
Whether you feel locked in, locked out, or something in between, it’s important to note that feeling lost is not evidence that something has gone wrong in your life plan. Most people are making their first attempts at adult life, feeling as though they don’t have enough experience to know what fits.
Life uncertainty in your thirties can feel different because you may believe that you should already be established and settled down. So changing directions might feel riskier when you consider your:
- Responsibilities.
- Commitments.
- Home life.
- Professional identity.
But development is a lifelong process and does not stop at any particular birthday. Careers change, relationships end, values evolve, and opportunities continue to appear at different stages of life. It is possible to find stability again, as well as discover who you are in the process.
How to Move Forward During a Quarter-Life Crisis
Moving forward usually starts with making the uncertainty smaller and more specific. The following are some ways you can go about doing this.
Separate Your Values From Other People’s Expectations
Values are not the same as specific outcomes; you can value family without following someone else’s relationship timeline, or you can value art without becoming a full-time artist. As you look at what you truly value, you might start to notice that you pursued a goal because it was secure or expected.
It may be helpful to consider:
- What matters to you when no one is watching.
- What goals still feel meaningful.
- What kind of daily life you want.
- What expectations truly belong to you versus belong to your family or a social group.
Run Small Experiments
The good news is that in order to learn more about yourself, you do not necessarily need to quit your job and move across the country. You may consider starting by:
- Taking a class you’re interested in.
- Volunteering.
- Joining a community group.
- Visiting a city you’ve never been to.
- Starting a project outside of work.
Limit Comparison
This is a difficult step for many people, and you may not be able to stop comparing yourself completely. But you can aim to reduce unnecessary exposure through:
- Muting accounts that trigger shame.
- Taking breaks from social media.
- Reminding yourself that posts are selective.
You could also focus on tracking your own progress rather than someone else’s.
Build More Structure
Research on young adults has shown that daily routines and time management were associated with emotional well-being and life satisfaction.[3] Helpful structured anchors may include:
- Consistent sleep and wake times.
- Regular meals.
- Planned work hours.
- Movement.
- Social contact.
- Intentional time outdoors.
- Activities or hobbies.
Focus on Reversible Decisions
Some decisions feel difficult to reverse when in reality they are not. Focusing on reversible decisions can help replace the search for certainty with a manageable level of risk. When considering making a change, you may find it helpful to ask yourself:
- What is the actual cost of trying this?
- How long do I need to test it?
- What would make this choice reversible?
- What information do I still need?
Strengthen Support
A quarter-life crisis can feel more isolating when everyone else seems to be confident and settled. Talking with people who can listen without judgment or immediately telling you what to do may be helpful. This could include:
- Friends.
- Family.
- Mentors.
- Peers.
- A therapist.
- A career counselor.
You may also benefit from connecting with people outside of your usual circle. For example, someone in a different profession, culture, hobbies, or stage of life who may offer a broader view of what adulthood can look like.
When Major Change May Help
Sometimes dissatisfaction is less about uncertainty and more about a true mismatch. A larger change may be worth considering if you feel as though you have tried reasonable adjustments already, but:
- Your environment feels limiting to your health.
- Staying requires ongoing self-abandonment.
- A relationship feels very incompatible.
When Therapy May Be Appropriate
Research describes young adulthood as a major transition period, but it can be especially challenging for those who already have mental health conditions.[4]
Therapy can provide a space to explore uncertainty without pressure to have an immediate answer. A therapist may help you explore values, perfectionism, career anxiety, decision-making, identity, coping skills, and much more.
Consider seeking professional support if you:
- Experience ongoing anxiety or depression.
- Are withdrawing from relationships.
- Experience impactful changes in sleep or appetite.
- Feel emotionally burned out.
- Feel hopeless or worthless.
- Use unsafe behaviors to cope.
- Have thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department when there is an immediate risk of harm.
Find Quarter-Life Crisis Support at Mission Connection
If you’re navigating a period of difficulty as you navigate your twenties or thirties, know that you’re not alone. With the right support, you can get through this and come out understanding yourself and your goals with more clarity.
At Mission Connection, we support adults experiencing career anxiety, life direction uncertainty, depression, emotional burnout, and other mental health concerns. Our team of licensed mental health professionals goes beyond traditional treatment and provides life-changing care.
We offer several options for effective outpatient treatment, including in-person programs at our locations in California, Virginia, and Washington, virtual telehealth, and a hybrid program that combines in-person and virtual care. We create a structured care plan for every patient that consists of evidence-based therapies.
Mission Connection is Joint Commission-accredited. We also accept most major insurance providers, so that your recovery is not hindered due to financial issues.
If you’re struggling with quarter-life uncertainty, reach out to us online or call us at 866-833-1822 to find out how we can support your well-being.
References
- Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: a theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469–480. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.5.469
- Robinson, O. C. (2019). A longitudinal mixed-methods case study of quarter-life crisis during the post-university transition: locked-out and locked-in forms in combination. Emerging Adulthood, 7(3), 167–179. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167696818764144
- Grinnell, M., Piscitello, J., & Kelley, M. L. (2022). Young adult routines inventory (yari): development and initial validation. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment, 45(2), 391. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10862-022-10007-7
- Babajide, A. et al. (2020). Transition cliffs for young adults with anxiety and depression: is integrated mental health care a solution? Journal of Behavioral Health Services & Research, 47, 275–292. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11414-019-09670-8