Confronting Suppressed Anger in Adults
When someone buries their anger below the surface, it’s called suppressed anger. Suppressing anger isn’t always a bad thing; it gives us time to regulate our emotions before we act out of line. This means we’re less likely to act hostile in the workplace, raise our voices at loved ones, or say something we don’t mean.
However, never expressing our anger can have negative consequences. It builds up like steam in a pressure cooker; the more we deny it exists, the more it affects our mental health. Our bodies can also struggle to manage the stress associated with pushing anger down, potentially leading to serious physical health problems.1,2
In other words, trying to silence anger can only make it louder. If you, or someone you know, is holding anger in to the point that it’s affecting your health, awareness and understanding are the first steps to getting it under control. To help, this article covers:
The signs of suppressed anger in adults- What causes suppressed anger
- The long-term effects of pushing anger down
- Therapy options for suppressed anger
- How to manage anger suppression
- Dealing with anger suppression in relationships
- Resources for treating suppressed anger
Signs of Suppressed Anger in Adults
You may be wondering, What is suppressed anger? Suppressed anger – sometimes known as repressed anger–is when we hold our feelings of frustration or stress in our minds and bodies instead of expressing them. We may even direct these feelings inward, becoming angry at ourselves.
Even though people who suppress anger hide their feelings below the surface, pushing them down for a long time can still lead to a range of emotional, behavioral, and physical symptoms.
Emotional Symptoms of Suppressed Anger
- Resentment Towards Others: Bottling up anger can lead to resentment, manifesting as signs of bitterness, betrayal, or disappointment. All of these signs, as we’ll discuss, can lead to destructive behavioral patterns.
- Constant Irritability: Irritability caused by pushing down anger can look like quick, angry outbursts of frustration and annoyance. Such irritability also outwardly appears to have no apparent trigger or cause.
- Persistent Low Mood: According to research, people prone to repressing anger may be more likely to experience mood problems such as depression. This may look like sadness, seeming “flat,” a lack of motivation, and becoming tearful without clear reason.3
Behavioral Signs of Suppressed Anger
- Passive-aggressive Tendencies: Passive-aggression is a less stressful “out” for someone who pushes their anger down as they can express it indirectly. Therefore, they may regularly speak to others sarcastically, give them the “silent treatment,” or deliver subtle insults.
- Withdrawal: Due to feelings of guilt and overwhelm, as well as fears of loss of control, some people may attempt to cope with their repressed anger by spending more time alone. This may look like emotional detachment or come across as “numbness” or “flatness.”
- Avoidance of Conflict: People who regularly suppress anger may choose to avoid confrontation due to an excessive fear of abandonment or rejection.
Physical Signs of Suppressed Anger
Tension Headaches: Research suggests that people prone to anger suppression are more prone to tension headaches and migraines.4,5- Muscle Pain: Pushing down anger can manifest as muscle tension. For instance, one study demonstrated that people who suppress anger tend to experience worse lower back pain than those who don’t.6
- Fatigue: Suppressing anger can be highly emotionally and mentally draining, potentially leading to fatigue and exhaustion. For example, research has shown that people who regularly suppress anger tend to feel more tired than those who experience chronic fatigue.7
While it’s clear that suppressed anger can have serious emotional, behavioral, and physical consequences, it can be difficult to manage without knowing the root causes.
Causes of Suppressed Anger
We’re all unique people with different experiences, so the causes of repressed anger can vary from person to person. Yet, developing an awareness of the potential causes of anger suppression can help people understand how to cope.
Psychological Causes
One potential cause of suppressed anger is our developmental background. Imagine growing up in a household where emotional expressions such as anger were discouraged. As an adult, you’d likely still feel unsafe letting go of your feelings as you’d fear rejection for doing so. Additionally, early trauma may cause people to feel more comfortable denying their anger rather than acknowledging it.
Another potential cause of suppressed anger is personality traits such as perfectionism. Someone with perfectionist tendencies might often feel frustrated at their perceived inability to manage their difficult emotions, leaving them prone to bottling up their feelings.
Environmental Influences
- Family Environment: The environment we grow up and live in can strongly influence how people express their emotions. For instance, the family environment is the first place a child learns how to manage their feelings. If displays of anger are punished rather than accepted as a normal part of development, the child learns that showing their anger is a “bad” thing.
- Society and Culture: The society we live in also affects how we express ourselves. For example, some cultures openly frown on anger as they may see it as a lack of ability to control oneself. In fact, such cultures may even see anger suppression as a positive attribute as it represents politeness and maturity.
- Workplace: Even our workplace dynamics can determine how we show anger. Angry outbursts are widely not accepted in the workplace, so employees typically learn how to control their feelings as silently and politely as possible.8
Whatever the causes behind why someone suppresses their anger, consistently doing so can lead to a wide range of consequences, which we’ll explore next.
Long-Term Effects of Suppressed Anger
Possible psychological consequences in the long term include mood problems such as anxiety and depression, feelings of powerlessness, numbness, and problems managing emotions in general.9
The possible long-term impacts of suppressed anger on physical health are just as concerning. These include:
Hypertension: Studies have found that suppressing anger is linked to higher systolic blood pressure, which increases the risk of hypertension.10- Digestive Issues: The gastrointestinal tract is surprisingly emotionally intuitive–it’s even often referred to as the “second brain.” Repressed anger can, therefore, be held in our gut in the form of irritable bowel syndrome (IBSD).11
- Chronic Stress: Not processing anger can put the body into a state of hyper-alertness, as it tries to determine the best way to respond to a threat.
Finally, our support systems can also suffer due to chronically pushing down anger. Not processing our emotions can cause us to withdraw from loved ones, creating more frequent communication breakdowns, greater mistrust, and increased emotional distance in relationships.
Therapy for Suppressed Anger Issues
People often struggle to know how to deal with suppressed anger, as opening up typically doesn’t come naturally to them. If suppressed anger is affecting your or your loved one’s ability to lead a fulfilling and happy life, therapy for suppressed anger issues can help.
Therapy for suppressed anger issues involves meeting with a trained professional who can help you talk through and process any issues you’re facing. Plus, therapy for anger repression can be highly diverse, with options ranging from art therapy to family counseling–so there are options to suit unique needs. These include:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
This approach focuses on identifying and challenging harmful thought patterns that contribute to suppressed anger.
Anger Expression Techniques:
This form of therapy focuses on helping people find ways to express their anger assertively and constructively. It may involve verbal expression exercises or role-playing responses to situations involving anger.
Mindfulness Practices:
Mindfulness practices for releasing suppressed anger typically involve focusing on the present moment through using techniques such as meditation, grounding exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation to process and release anger more effectively. You can read more about mindfulness here.
Art Therapy:
This approach involves using creative outlets like drawing or painting to express repressed emotions.
Family Counselling:
Family counseling can help with repressed anger which is partly attributable to relational dynamics, for instance, in the home or family background.
Managing Suppressed Anger
Therapy is a valuable and important option for anyone struggling to express their emotions, but there are actions you can take right now to help you recognize and deal with anger. The following tips can offer a helpful starting point:
- Journaling: Journaling for suppressed anger awareness can be a powerful tool, helping you to notice and understand patterns in your emotions.
- Relaxation Techniques Like Yoga and Deep Breathing: These can help to calm the body and mind during times of emotional turmoil.
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique can be a useful in-the-moment way to ground your mind and body. If you notice signs of anger in your body, focus on tensing and relaxing each part of it in turn, starting from your toes and working up to your head.12
The same steps may not work for everyone–we recommend trialing a few different techniques until you find what works best for you.
How to Deal With Suppressed Anger in Relationships
Suppressed anger in relationships can strain the strongest of bonds. Therefore, navigating anger in relationships requires a thoughtful, intentional approach. Below are some strategies that can help you address hidden emotions and improve the communication in your relationships:
- Effective Communication Strategies, like using “I” statements when discussing your feelings, help keep the focus on your point of view without placing blame on others. Active listening is equally crucial; listen attentively and respond thoughtfully to the other person, reflecting on what they’ve shared.
- Clearly and Calmly Setting Boundaries is important for establishing what behaviors or actions are acceptable and for fostering mutual respect–this can help prevent situations that trigger frustration or resentment from arising.
- Rebuilding Trust and Understanding, such as through family or couples therapy, can help ensure anger is expressed more openly and constructively.
Remember to take time to reflect on any potential reasons for your suppressed anger. Are you avoiding conflict, fearing rejection, or adhering to cultural norms? Identifying patterns of emotional suppression in relationships is the first step in understanding how to reverse and address them.
Resources for Treating Suppressed Anger
Anger doesn’t simply disappear because we force it down; it lingers beneath the surface, pushing back up in ways we don’t expect. Resources such as psychoeducation, stress management workshops, and online support groups are invaluable in helping people learn about their emotions, share their feelings, and develop healthy forms of expression.
If you recognize some of your own issues described, don’t hesitate to reach out for confidential support and advice. This is especially important if you or your loved one’s struggles are negatively affecting relationships or interfering with daily functioning.
At Mission Connection Healthcare, we’re here to support you. Don’t wait to contact us via our hotline for confidential support and advice. Alternatively, you can contact a member of our team and inquire about a therapy consultation tailored to suppressed anger–they’ll be a friendly listening ear who can provide you with more information.
At Mission Connection, we provide compassionate support tailored to your needs. Reaching out can be difficult, but it’s brave. Whatever the circumstances, you don’t need to face them alone – we’re here to help.
References
1. Burns, J. W., Evon, D., & Strain-Saloum, C. (1999). Repressed anger and patterns of cardiovascular, self-report and behavioral responses: Effects of harassment. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 47(6), 569-581
2. Everson, S. A., Kaplan, G. A., Goldberg, D. E., Lakka, T. A., Sivenius, J., & Salonen, J. T. (1999). Anger expression and incident stroke: prospective evidence from the Kuopio ischemic heart disease study. Stroke, 30(3), 523-528
3. Suh, H. W., Lee, K. B., Chung, S. Y., Park, M., Jang, B. H., & Kim, J. W. (2021). How suppressed anger can become an illness: a qualitative systematic review of the experiences and perspectives of hwabyung patients in Korea. Frontiers in psychiatry, 12, 637029
4. Perozzo, P., Savi, L., Castelli, L., Valfrè, W., Lo Giudice, R., Gentile, S., … & Pinessi, L. (2005). Anger and emotional distress in patients with migraine and tension–type headache. The journal of headache and pain, 6, 392-399
5. Venable, V. L., Carlson, C. R., & Wilson, J. (2001). The role of anger and depression in recurrent headache. Headache: The Journal of Head and Face Pain, 41(1), 21-30
6. Burns, J. W., Quartana, P., & Bruehl, S. (2011). Anger suppression and subsequent pain behaviors among chronic low back pain patients: Moderating effects of anger regulation style. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 42(1), 42-54
7. Rimes, K. A., Ashcroft, J., Bryan, L., & Chalder, T. (2016). Emotional suppression in chronic fatigue syndrome: Experimental study. Health psychology, 35(9), 979.
8. Ward, G. (2016, November 9). Diffusing workplace anger. INSEAD Knowledge. https://knowledge.insead.edu/leadership-organisations/diffusing-workplace-anger
9. Painuly, N., Sharan, P., & Mattoo, S. K. (2005). Relationship of anger and anger attacks with depression: a brief review. European archives of psychiatry and clinical neuroscience, 255, 215-222.
10. Dimsdale, J. E., Pierce, C., Schoenfeld, D., Brown, A., Zusman, R., & Graham, R. (1986). Suppressed anger and blood pressure: the effects of race, sex, social class, obesity, and age. Psychosomatic medicine, 48(6), 430-436
11. Beyond IBS. (n.d.). Fire in my belly: Repressed anger and IBS. https://beyondibs.co.uk/fire-in-my-belly/
12. Nunez, K. (2020, August 10). The benefits of progressive muscle relaxation and how to do it. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/progressive-muscle-relaxation
