Types of Borderline Personality Disorder: Understanding the Four BPD Subtypes
Nearly 1.6% of adults in the United States are estimated to meet criteria for BPD.¹ However, borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is often far more complex than most people realize.
While many think of it as one uniform condition, there are actually several distinct types of borderline personality disorder. In fact, researchers have identified four primary BPD subtypes, each with unique traits, emotional patterns, and challenges.
By learning about the four BPD subtypes, you can begin to recognize how emotional dysregulation in BPD can shape daily life, relationships, and self-image. Further, understanding the subtypes of borderline personality disorder and treatment can help family and friends provide the right kind of support.
A mental health professional can help you or a loved one understand the subtypes of BPD, but this article can also work as a useful guide, as it explores:
- What the four BPD subtypes are and their characteristics
- Tips for recognizing quiet borderline personality disorder and high-functioning BPD
- How BPD subtypes affect relationships
- The link between narcissism and BPD subtypes
- What treatment for emotional instability in BPD involves
- What Mission Connection can do to help
The BPD Four Subtypes Explained
When people talk about the different types of borderline personality disorder, they’re usually describing four main patterns. However, it helps to know that these subtypes aren’t strict boxes – some people can show traits from more than one.
For example, emotional dysregulation in BPD subtypes is one of the reasons this disorder feels so hard to manage, but not everyone experiences it the same way. Some may feel like their emotions explode without warning. Yet others might just go numb or shut down completely.
Learning about these four BPD subtypes characteristics helps explain why therapy for different BPD subtypes has to be specific to each person. What works for one might not work for another. The following are the four BPD subtypes explained in detail.
Discouraged Subtype
The discouraged or “quiet” subtype of BPD is often overlooked. This may be because people with the discouraged subtype might seem passive or quiet.
People with quiet borderline personality disorder may swallow their emotions rather than express them. As a result, they might hold everything inside until it feels impossible to function. They can seem dependent on others, sometimes clinging to relationships to feel secure. Underlying this subtype is usually a lot of self-doubt and fear of abandonment.²
Additionally, recognizing quiet or discouraged BPD in adults can take time, especially if it’s confused with depression.
Impulsive Subtype
In contrast to quiet borderline personality disorder, the impulsive subtype is easier to spot. It’s marked by risk-taking and emotional swings that happen quickly and unpredictably. For example, someone might spend too much money, use substances, or act recklessly in relationships.³ Further, they might be calm in the morning and later in the day end up panicking or yelling over something that seems small.
This kind of intensity is what drives a lot of self-destructive BPD behaviors. It’s also why treatment for emotional instability in BPD usually includes learning how to pause before reacting.
Petulant Subtype
Petulant BPD shows up as irritability, resentment, and sudden frustration. People with this subtype might feel unappreciated or rejected even when others don’t see a problem. Splitting behavior in BPD subtypes is common in people with petulant BPD, which is a defense mechanism where someone sees themselves, others, or situations in extremes.⁴
For example, splitting behaviors might look like viewing things as either all good or all bad, with no middle ground. Alternatively, someone might swing between needing closeness and feeling furious when they don’t get it. These shifts are typically exhausting, both for the person with petulant BPD and the people around them.
Self-Destructive Subtype
The self-destructive subtype is characterized by chronic emptiness and a pattern of self-sabotage. For example, someone might hurt themselves or take big risks as a way to cope or feel something.
Even people with high-functioning BPD can struggle with the self-destructive subtype.⁵ While, from the outside, they might look like they have it together, on the inside it can feel like everything is falling apart. Traits from the narcissistic BPD subtype can also go hand in hand with self-destruction – such as hiding deep insecurity behind arrogance.
Additionally, self-destructive BPD behaviors can be among the hardest to address because they can feel almost automatic. Yet with the right understanding and treatment, healing is possible.
Quiet and High-Functioning BPD: What Sets Them Apart?
Quiet borderline personality disorder and high-functioning BPD are two subtypes that can go under the radar. In fact, they can look so different from the stereotype of BPD that people often miss what’s going on.
Quiet BPD is sometimes called “internalizing BPD.” This is because emotions like anger and fear aren’t directed towards other people – they get turned inward. On the outside, someone with quiet BPD might seem calm or withdrawn. Yet, on the inside, they might feel intense shame and spend a lot of time worrying or self-blaming.
High-functioning BPD is when someone appears to be in control of life. They might work hard, keep social plans, and seem successful. But under the surface, they still have the same emotional dysregulation in BPD subtypes. For example, they could feel chronic emptiness, have sudden mood shifts, or engage in self-destructive BPD behaviors – but usually only behind closed doors.
Moreover, each of the four BPD subtypes can show up in these quieter forms in the following ways:
- The discouraged subtype often blends into quiet BPD. This might look like the person seeming passive or sad rather than openly angry.
- The impulsive subtype can look high-functioning if someone channels their energy into work or social life, even while taking hidden risks.
- The petulant subtype may show up as quiet resentment instead of loud arguments.
- The self-destructive subtype might be masked by a high-functioning image, while someone privately struggles with shame and emptiness.
Learning how BPD subtypes affect relationships also means noticing these hidden struggles. For instance, someone might seem distant or self-sufficient, but underneath, they could be terrified of being abandoned or judged.
How the Four BPD Subtypes Can Cause Relationship Strain
Splitting behaviors are commonly associated with borderline personality disorder, but they’re not always well understood. To put it simply, splitting is a way of seeing things in black and white – but it can vary from subtype to subtype. Here are the different ways that splitting behaviors can affect relationships in each BPD subtype…
- Petulant subtype: Splitting can happen quickly. One day, someone might feel like the most important person in the world. The next, they might feel bottom of the pile of people to trust. These swings often come from a deep fear of being rejected or abandoned.
- Discouraged subtype: Splitting in the discouraged subtype can be subtle. For instance, someone might seem agreeable on the outside but secretly feel like nobody will stick around. Recognizing quiet BPD in adults sometimes means noticing when someone goes from idealizing a relationship to feeling worthless if it changes.
- Impulsive subtype: Splitting in this subtype can lead to big reactions. For example, if someone feels hurt or let down, they might suddenly quit a job, end a friendship, or do something reckless. These self-destructive BPD behaviors often come from trying to escape the pain that splitting creates.
- Self-destructive subtype: People with the self-destructive subtype may flip between feeling like they deserve care and thinking they don’t matter. Such feelings can show up as sudden self-harm, reckless choices, or pushing others away before they can get hurt. In other words, self-destructive BPD behaviors can be a way of managing the belief that everyone will leave eventually.
Even high-functioning BPD can cause splitting. Although someone might seem calm and capable, they can still wrestle with black-and-white thoughts and actions. This back-and-forth can put a lot of strain on relationships – partners and friends sometimes may feel unsure of what to expect from day to day.
Narcissistic and Self-Destructive Traits in BPD Subtypes
Narcissistic traits can show up in borderline personality disorder, but this doesn’t mean someone has narcissistic personality disorder. Instead, they may act in ways that protect themselves from feeling worthless or rejected.
Narcissism in BPD might look like:
- Acting superior even when not genuinely feeling superior
- Needing a lot of praise or reassurance
- Getting angry fast if feeling criticized or ignored
- Swinging between praising and devaluing others
- Believing that special treatment is deserved
Self-destructive BPD behaviors can also show up in any subtype. But for people in the self-destructive subtype, these behaviors feel almost constant. They’re often used to cope with emptiness or fear that no one will ever stay.
Examples of self-destructive behaviors in BPD include:
- Self-harming or threatening suicide
- Using drugs or alcohol to escape feelings
- Spending excessively
- Pushing people away to test if anyone cares
- Ignoring health concerns
Therapy and Treatment Approaches for Each Subtype
Treatment for emotional instability in BPD depends a lot on the patterns someone struggles with most. Different subtypes respond to different kinds of support. The following are some of the main therapy options for different forms of BPD and why they’re used:
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
DBT is backed by research to be an effective treatment for BPD.⁶ It teaches skills to handle intense feelings, stay present, and avoid reacting in ways that make feelings worse. It’s often especially helpful for people with the impulsive and self-destructive subtypes, as it gives them the skills to pause before acting on urges.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps people notice and question the negative thoughts that fuel shame and hopelessness, allowing them to overcome faulty self-beliefs.⁷ Those with the discouraged subtype often find CBT useful for building confidence and feeling more capable day to day.
Schema Therapy
Studies show that combined individual and group schema therapy can be helpful in reducing the severity of BPD symptoms.⁸ This approach looks at patterns – or frameworks – that started early in life and how they affect the way someone sees the world as an adult. It can be especially helpful for discouraged and self-destructive subtypes, where chronic emptiness or fear of abandonment is strong.
Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT)
MBT guides people to understand what’s happening in their own and other people’s minds.⁹ It can ease confusion and reduce sudden conflicts, which is especially useful for the petulant and impulsive subtypes.
Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP)
Research indicates that TFP works to reduce BPD symptoms and improve how people relate to themselves and others by using the therapeutic relationship to explore reactions and shifts in thinking.¹⁰ People who struggle with splitting behavior often find this helps them see relationships in a steadier way.
Trauma-Informed Care
For people who have been through significant trauma, trauma-informed care helps create safety and teaches ways to calm the nervous system.¹¹ Self-destructive and quiet BPD often benefit when therapy includes an understanding of past trauma.
Medication Support
Medications like mood stabilizers or antidepressants are sometimes used alongside therapy for treating BPD.¹² For instance, lamotrigine may be promising when mood swings, severe anxiety, or impulsive behaviors make daily life feel unmanageable.
Coping Strategies for Emotional Instability and Relationship Challenges
Managing BPD takes patience. It helps to use small daily strategies that help make big emotions easier to handle. For instance, the following steps can increase a sense of stability when undergoing therapy:
- Pause and breathe: A short pause can keep reactions from growing stronger
- Write feelings down: Notes or journals help track emotional triggers and reactions
- Use grounding skills: Focusing on the texture of an object or naming colors can calm racing thoughts
- Set simple goals: One clear step at a time can lessen feelings of overwhelm. Small tasks can help discouraged or self-destructive patterns feel more manageable
- Talk to someone you trust: Sharing that you’re struggling can ease pressure and reduce urges to react impulsively
- Practice self-compassion: Needing help is part of being human. It’s important to remind yourself of this, especially in the case of quiet borderline personality disorder and high-functioning BPD, where struggles often stay hidden.
Coping with different BPD personality traits takes time. These practices may not completely erase distress, but they can help you feel steadier and more connected in daily life.
Reach Out to Mission Connection for Treatment for Emotional Instability in BPD
If you or someone you care about is struggling with emotional instability in BPD, help is available. Mission Connection offers specialized therapy and support designed to address the different subtypes of borderline personality disorder.
Our team understands how BPD subtypes affect relationships, self-esteem, and daily life. Providing evidence-based approaches like DBT, Schema Therapy, and trauma-informed care, we can help you build coping skills and feel more stable over time. Reaching out is the first step.
FAQs About Borderline Personality Disorder Subtypes
How to Explain BPD to Someone Who Doesn't Have It
BPD can be challenging to explain, but try saying it’s a mental health condition that causes strong emotions and a fear of abandonment. It’s not about being “difficult” – it’s about needing support to manage overwhelming feelings.
At What Age Does BPD Peak?
BPD symptoms often feel most intense in young adulthood, usually in the late teens to early twenties. However, with treatment, many people see symptoms improve over time.
Can You Have All 4 Types of BPD?
Yes. People often have traits from more than one subtype. The mix can change over time or in different situations.
References
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- Nakao, M., Shirotsuki, K., & Sugaya, N. (2021). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for management of mental health and stress-related disorders: Recent advances in techniques and technologies. BioPsychoSocial Medicine, 15(1), Article 16. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8489050/
- Arntz, A., Jacob, G. A., Lee, C. W., Brand-de Wilde, O. M., Fassbinder, E., Harper, R. P., Lavender, A., Lockwood, G., Malogiannis, I. A., Ruths, F. A., Schweiger, U., Shaw, I. A., & Farrell, J. M. (2022). Effectiveness of predominantly group schema therapy and combined individual and group schema therapy for borderline personality disorder: A randomized clinical trial. JAMA Psychiatry, 79(4), 287–299. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2789694
- Bateman, A., & Fonagy, P. (2010). Mentalization-based treatment for borderline personality disorder. World Psychiatry, 9(1), 11–15. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2816926/
- Meehan, K. B., Cain, N. M., Roche, M. J., Fertuck, E. A., Sowislo, J. F., & Clarkin, J. F. (2023). Evaluating change in transference, interpersonal functioning, and trust processes in the treatment of borderline personality disorder: A single-case study using ecological momentary assessment. Journal of Personality Disorders, 37(5), 490–507. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37903025/#:~:text=Abstract,functioning;%20psychotherapy%20research;%20transference
- Carr, E. R., Carter, J. E. M., & Hillbrand, M. (2024). Trauma-informed behavioral supports (TIBS) for inpatient treatment of individuals who experience BPD. Journal of Psychiatric Research. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2024.03.045
- Ade, R. M., Patil, P. S., & Pathade, A. (2024). The therapeutic role of lamotrigine in borderline personality disorder: A comprehensive review of outcomes, mechanisms, and treatment strategies. Cureus, 16(8), e67362. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11415144/#:~:text=Conclusions,enhancing%20BPD%20patient%20care%20outcomes
