Adult Attachment Interventions: How to Heal Attachment Wounds as an Adult
Attachment theory explains how the emotional bonds we form with our primary caregivers in early life affect the way we connect with others in adulthood.1
As children, we look to a “primary attachment figure” for safety and comfort. When that bond is secure, we typically learn that relationships are safe and reliable. But if it is inconsistent, neglectful, or harmful, we may develop insecure attachment patterns.
These include anxious, avoidant, and disorganized patterns, and, without effective healing experiences, can follow us into adulthood, influencing how we feel and behave in romantic relationships, friendships, and at work.
If you want to understand your attachment style and how to heal attachment wounds, a mental health professional can discuss adult attachment intervention options with you. This page can also help, as it covers…
- Attachment therapy programs for adults
- How to choose the right type of attachment treatment for your needs
- Ways to maintain attachment healing after therapy
- Where to seek professional advice for adult attachment interventions
Themes of Attachment Therapy Programs for Adults
Research into therapy for attachment issues in adults highlights six themes. These elements consistently make their way into different treatment approaches for adult attachment problems and include:2
1. Changing Internal Working Models
From the moment we’re born, our experiences with caregivers form deep, often unconscious “mental blueprints” for how relationships work. Psychologists call these internal working models.
If early experiences were loving and consistent, we tend to grow up expecting that we are worthy of love. But if they were unreliable, rejecting, or unsafe, we can carry forward negative beliefs like I can’t depend on anyone or I’m not good enough to be loved.
Attachment-based therapy for adults aims to update these blueprints. John Bowlby, the founder of attachment theory, suggested that the key goal of therapy should be to help people shift from insecure to more secure patterns. It does this by giving them corrective emotional experiences.3 In simple terms, it means experiencing a relationship that is safe, consistent, and understanding.
Improvements in these relationship “blueprints” are linked to positive outcomes, like reduced anxiety or depression.
2. The Therapeutic Relationship and Creating a Secure Base
One of the most important parts of attachment-focused therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the client. It provides a “secure base” for the client to open up about their experiences, rather than the therapist just listening and advising.
It’s the same idea as in childhood, where a caregiver’s consistent presence allows a child to explore the world, knowing they can come back for comfort. The strength of the working alliance between the client and therapist predicts how well therapy works.4
Clients who feel their therapist is dependable and understanding often come to rely on them as a source of stability. For instance, they may:
- See the therapist as stronger or wiser during difficult times
- Want emotional closeness and consistency through regular sessions
- Turn to the therapist as a “safe haven” when feeling overwhelmed
- Feel secure enough in the therapist’s presence to explore painful, anxiety-provoking memories
3. Formulating and Processing Relationship Experiences
A main part of treatment for insecure attachment in adulthood is helping people make sense of their relationships. This involves deeply personal explorations of how past connections influence the way a person thinks, feels, and behaves.
In this process, therapists create conditions in which the client can arrive at their own understandings through open dialogue and structured tools like the Adult Attachment Interview.5
Attachment healing involves building a coherent, emotionally rich story of one’s attachment history and developing the ability to reflect on both one’s own and others’ inner worlds. It is done in the following ways:
- Exploring past attachment-related experiences of separation, loss, or neglect
- Linking past events to present symptoms and behaviours
- Recognizing the protective function of past coping strategies, even if they are unhelpful now
- Encouraging emotional processing, such as grief or anger
- Developing coherent, reflective narratives that integrate past and present understanding
4. Countertransference
Therapists are human, too. They have their own personal histories and attachment patterns. Sometimes, working closely with a person triggers their own emotional responses, which is called countertransference.6
For example, your therapist may feel an urge to “rescue” you when you’re in pain, or feel frustrated if they sense you pulling away. If they’re not aware of these reactions, they could unintentionally slip into overstepping your boundaries and mirroring the invalidation you’ve experienced before.
Therapists who are more secure in their own attachment style are less likely to get caught in patterns that keep a client’s difficulties going. You always have the right to speak up if you feel too pressured or change therapist if the connection doesn’t feel emotionally safe.
5. Separation, Termination, and Boundary Issues
The way therapy ends can affect your ability to process attachment-related losses. For many people with insecure attachment patterns, ending therapy can trigger anxiety or fears of regression.
Therefore, your therapist will prepare for termination from the very beginning. For instance, they can help you anticipate emotional responses and think about how to use skills learned in therapy after it ends. You will also learn to identify other supportive connections in your life.
You are also involved in deciding when and how therapy ends. Some people find it helpful to taper sessions gradually or increase support temporarily as they face a difficult transition.
6. Working With Different Attachment Styles or Patterns
Attachment-informed therapy pays close attention to different patterns of attachment, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, and adapts its approach accordingly.
If you lean toward anxious attachment, you may have grown up with inconsistent care, always wondering whether love would stay or disappear. Therapy for anxious attachment builds a consistent and reliable relationship where you voice your needs without fear of abandonment.
If your pattern is avoidant attachment, you likely feel more comfortable keeping your emotions under wraps. A good therapist will go at your pace and start with more concrete, practical issues to build trust. Over time, they’ll gently encourage you to explore feelings without losing control.
For those with disorganized attachment, past trauma makes trust fragile, and strong feelings swing in quickly. Therapy creates emotional safety and builds regulation skills before talking about past memories.
Evidence-Based Attachment Interventions for Adults
Attachment-informed treatments have been studied for decades. Clinical experiments and real-world outcome studies consistently show that psychotherapy can change adult attachment representations. Some evidence-based attachment interventions include:
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most widely researched approaches in mental health and has been adapted to address many kinds of difficulties.
CBT is a structured, present-focused psychotherapy. It targets distorted thinking and unhelpful behaviours by teaching practical skills.
CBT-based interventions reduce maladaptive beliefs about self and others (for example, I’m unworthy or People always leave). They also teach practical emotion-regulation strategies and create corrective relational experiences through a reliable therapeutic structure.
Some adults with long-standing attachment wounds may need more relationally focused approaches alongside CBT. For instance, evidence suggests that combining CBT with attachment-based family therapy (ABFT) can improve outcomes for people who have not responded well to CBT alone.7
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) was developed in the 1980s by Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg. It was first designed for couples therapy to map and change negative interaction cycles by focusing on primary emotions and unmet attachment needs. For attachment problems, EFT is an experiential, emotion-focused model delivered in a time-limited course of sessions.
EFT explicitly frames relationship distress in attachment terms. The therapist helps partners access and express vulnerable emotions (like fear, longing, or sadness) and restructure interactions so each partner becomes more available.
For individuals, EFT helps people access, process, and restructure maladaptive emotion-driven relational patterns.
Additionally, neuroimaging studies show reduced threat responses in couples after EFT.8
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) was developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s as a trauma-focused therapy.
In this type of therapy for childhood attachment trauma, the therapist helps you recall distressing memories while you focus on a form of rhythmic stimulation. Examples include moving your eyes back and forth, tapping, or listening to alternating sounds.
EMDR has a strong evidence-base for treating post-traumatic stress disorder and is included in several international guidelines for trauma treatment.9
For many adults with attachment trauma, early relational wounds are encoded as traumatic memories that lead to insecurity. EMDR targets these memory networks directly and reduces the intensity of traumatic triggers tied to attachment.
Mentalization-Based therapy
Mentalizing is the ability to understand your own thoughts and feelings and those of others.
Mentalization-based therapy (MBT) is based on the idea that mentalizing is key to building healthy relationships.10 Yet, adults with insecure attachment often have difficulty with mentalizing when under stress, which leads to misunderstandings.
In MBT, the therapist helps you slow down and reflect on what goes on in your mind and in other people’s minds during emotional situations. Your focus is on becoming curious and open to different perspectives. Over time, it can improve your ability to regulate emotions, respond with empathy, and feel more secure in relationships.
The therapeutic relationship becomes a safe and consistent space where you explore your fears and practice mentalizing in real time.
Choosing the Right Type of Attachment Treatment
The right kind of mental health treatment for attachment disorder varies based on your circumstances.
Outpatient therapy is the most practical and accessible option for most adults with attachment difficulties. It includes weekly or biweekly sessions with a trained therapist.
If your attachment patterns are linked to significant early trauma, you may benefit from an intensive, structured program. These programs combine individual therapy, group work, psychoeducation, and experiential exercises to target both the emotional and relational aspects of attachment.
A residential or partial hospitalization program may be appropriate for people with complex trauma or co-occurring conditions such as dissociation, severe depression, or anxiety. Living in a therapeutic setting resets unhealthy dynamics by removing you from environments that trigger old patterns.
Then there is inpatient treatment for attachment trauma, which is reserved for situations where emotional instability significantly affects personal safety. Such circumstances include:
- Severe self-harm risk or suicidal thoughts linked to attachment trauma
- Unstable living situations that undermine therapy progress
- Intense relational crises that cannot be managed in an outpatient setting
- Severe dissociative symptoms or PTSD episodes that require continuous monitoring
How to Maintain Attachment Healing After Therapy
Finishing therapy is a milestone, but it’s not the end of your journey. The progress you’ve made in therapy needs to be nurtured in daily life. Certain self-help strategies can help you maintain the secure patterns you’ve worked hard to build. The following are some suggestions:
- Continue practicing self-awareness: Make pausing and checking in on yourself a habit. Ongoing self-monitoring reduces the likelihood of reverting to automatic, insecure responses.
- Nurture safe and supportive relationships: Actively maintain the relationships that feel safe, and set clear boundaries with those that undermine your self-worth.
- Use skills from therapy in real-world situations: The tools you learned in therapy are meant to be used outside the therapy room. Exposure to real-world situations “locks in” new attachment behaviors through repeated experience. This process is known as “consolidation.”
- Stay connected to professional support: Consider occasional “booster sessions” with your therapist. Periodic check-ins reinforce secure patterns and catch early signs of regression.
- Practice self-compassion: Even with consistent effort, moments of insecurity might happen. Do not see yourself as a failure during such setbacks. Instead, have a kind inner dialogue to prevent yourself from spiraling back into self-criticism.
Attachment Therapy Programs for Adults at Mission Connection
At Mission Connection, we understand that healing adult attachment problems isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. It takes care, patience, and the right mix of approaches. That’s why we offer a range of therapy options like CBT, EMDR, EFT, MBT, and more.
Our licensed therapists bring years of experience and specialized training to address the root causes of your insecure patterns. For clients who may also benefit from medication management, we provide coordinated care to support emotional stability alongside therapy.
Call us today or get started online to start building the secure, fulfilling relationships you deserve.
References
- Bosmans, G., & Borelli, J. L. (2022). Attachment and the development of psychopathology: Introduction to the special issue. Brain Sciences, 12(2), 174. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci12020174
- Berry, K., & Danquah, A. (2015). Attachment-informed therapy for adults: Towards a unifying perspective on practice. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 89(1), 15–32. https://doi.org/10.1111/papt.12063
- Konieczny, P., & Cierpiałkowska, L. (2020). Positive and negative life experiences and changes in internal working models of attachment: A comparative study. Psychiatria Polska, 56(3), 1–20. https://doi.org/10.12740/pp/onlinefirst/127457
- Prusiński, T. (2022). The strength of alliance in individual psychotherapy and patient’s wellbeing: The relationships of the therapeutic alliance to psychological wellbeing, satisfaction with life, and flourishing in adult patients attending individual psychotherapy. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 13(1). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.827321
- George, C., Main, M., & Kaplan, N. (1985). Adult Attachment Interview. PsycTESTS Dataset. https://doi.org/10.1037/t02879-000
- Prasko, J., Ociskova, M., Vanek, J., et al. (2022). Managing transference and countertransference in cognitive behavioral supervision: Theoretical framework and clinical application. Psychology Research and Behavior Management, 15, 2129–2155. https://doi.org/10.2147/prbm.s369294
- Herres, J., Krauthamer, S., Levy, S., Creed, T. A., & Diamond, G. S. (2023). Combining attachment-based family therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy to improve outcomes for adolescents with anxiety. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1096291
- Johnson, S. M., Moser, M. B., Beckes, L., et al. (2013). Soothing the threatened brain: Leveraging contact comfort with emotionally focused therapy. In K. Paterson (Ed.), PLoS ONE, 8(11), e79314. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0079314
- Vereecken, S., & Corso, G. (2024). Revisiting eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder: A systematic review and discussion of the American Psychological Association’s 2017 recommendations. Cureus, 16(4). https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.58767
- Bateman, A., & Fonagy, P. (2013). Mentalization-based treatment. Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 33(6), 595–613. https://doi.org/10.1080/07351690.2013.835170
