Divorce & Separation Adjustment Disorder: Coping With Major Change
Separating from a life partner can be an incredibly difficult and emotional event that causes significant distress. Heartbreak, conflict, custody disagreements, and even physical health symptoms caused by divorce can culminate and disrupt everyday functioning.[1][2]
If someone’s stress response to a divorce or separation seriously impacts daily life, they may be experiencing adjustment disorder. This occurs when the stress of a major life change becomes so overwhelming that it interferes with living, working, and socializing as normal.
Emotional recovery after divorce is difficult, but it is possible. To explain divorce adjustment disorder and what emotional recovery after divorce involves, this article will cover:
- How divorce affects mental health.
- Risk factors for divorce depression.
- What adjustment disorder is and why separation can cause it.
- Signs of adjustment disorder after divorce.
- Coping with divorce through therapy and self-help strategies.
Divorce and Mental Health
Separation and divorce can have a tremendous impact on both mental and physical health in the short and long term. The split may involve heartbreak, conflict, custody battles, and financial pressures, which can culminate in significant mental distress.
Research has linked divorce with higher rates of physical health problems, depression, and substance use compared with remaining married.[1] All parties can be affected, but divorced men may be at greater risk of negative health outcomes than divorced women. One reason for this is that they tend to lack emotional support systems.[1]
A divorce is a permanent and significant life adjustment, particularly if there are children involved or the marriage lasted a long time. Those who struggle most with these transitions may be experiencing divorce adjustment disorder.
Before looking at adjustment disorder itself, it’s first useful to understand the decline in mental health after separation.
Causes of Divorce Stress
Separating or divorcing isn’t just a decision to break up a relationship. There are several significant life changes involved in a divorce which can cause emotional distress. Many people going through divorce will struggle with the adjustment due to:[2]
- Grieving the relationship.
- High levels of conflict before, during, and after the decision to separate.
- Feelings of guilt, anger, hopelessness, and helplessness.
- Ruminations about the ex-partner.
- Fulfilling work, family, and social obligations alongside the separation.
- Parenting responsibilities.
- Custody disagreements.
- Somatic symptoms such as fatigue, IBS, headaches, and back pain.
These factors can understandably be difficult to manage. However, they are considered normal reactions to divorce and separation. When these difficulties become highly disruptive to everyday functioning, it is sometimes called adjustment disorder.
What Is Adjustment Disorder?
When life throws too much at someone, it can be difficult to carry on as normal. Though stress is a part of life, an adjustment disorder is when a reaction to a big life change becomes so overwhelming that it affects daily functioning.[3]
Adjustment disorders can arise due to the death of a pet, moving, or the end of a relationship.[3] One study found that romantic and domestic problems are two of the top three stressors causing adult adjustment disorder, just behind illness.[4]
Research finds that some adults will be more susceptible to adjustment disorder, including:[5]
- Women.
- Younger adults.
- Unemployed people.
- Those with a history of mental health conditions.
Experts found that those with lower levels of social support are at greater risk of struggling with big life adjustments.[5] This difficulty can affect the ability to cope with divorce and separations. For many people, symptoms emerge during the separation process itself or in the months that follow.
For an adult to be diagnosed with adjustment disorder, their symptoms of stress must be connected to something specific, like a relationship loss, and their reaction must be considered excessive. This isn’t meant to judge their emotional response; instead, a diagnosis of divorce adjustment disorder can be a route to accessing necessary support.[3]
Signs of Adjustment Disorder After Divorce
Separations can impact the work and social lives of both parties, as well as causing feelings of:
- Loneliness.
- Anger.
- Humiliation.
- Confusion.
- Loss.
Life adjustments such as divorce can also affect someone’s identity and meaning of life, which can show up as emotional symptoms.
The main symptoms associated with adjustment disorder include:[3]
- Depressive symptoms such as low mood, tearfulness, and hopelessness.
- Symptoms of anxiety such as nervousness, jitteriness, and separation anxiety in adults.
- Social withdrawal.
- Lack of interest in previously enjoyed hobbies and activities.
- Change in behavior and performance at work.
- Violating the rights of others or societal norms, for example, destruction of property, reckless driving, and fighting.
However, there are many individual responses to the adjustment of separation. For example, research finds that people who divorce have higher levels of anxiety and depression and could be more likely to use alcohol to cope.[6]
In addition, those experiencing adjustment disorder or divorce depression may experience a crisis of identity. This can happen because life with a spouse often involves shared routines and decisions. A role as a husband or wife is a pivotal part of how many people see themselves. When that role disappears, it’s natural to feel disconnected from identity.6 You may find yourself unsure how to introduce yourself socially or who you are without the relationship.
Grief and divorce are also interconnected. One person’s adjustment disorder may show up as a profound sense of loss, whether that’s for their own identity as a spouse or for the loss of their partner.[7] Others may grieve the future they had imagined or the family unit that has now changed.
Coping With Divorce Adjustment Disorder
Emotional recovery after divorce will always be difficult, but when it also involves adjustment disorder, therapeutic support is essential. Getting the right guidance during this transition will not only help with reducing symptoms of distress, but will also help with increasing resilience for future life stressors.[8]
As well as counseling and psychotherapy, there are several self-help strategies people can implement to cope with the transition of separation.
Therapy for Separation and Divorce
Therapy offers many forms of support for people going through a divorce.
Since adjustment disorder has anxiety and stress elements, some experts recommend cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT is designed to give people coping mechanisms to manage and reduce stress, confront their fears, and take actions to increase resilience.8 In the context of divorce, CBT can help you identify and challenge unhelpful thought patterns about your ex-partner or your future.
Other types of therapy offer valuable ways of coping with divorce. For example, humanistic and existential counseling focus more on you as an individual with feelings and hopes for the future. These approaches give you the chance to process what the marriage meant to you and who you want to become now that it has ended. These approaches can:[7]
- Support you in rebuilding your identity after divorce.
- Explore what you’ve lost.
- Make sense of the role you held in the marriage.
- Reconnect with your own values and needs.
Many forms of therapy can help you tolerate sitting with uncertainty rather than rushing to reinvent yourself or move on too quickly.[7] The right type will depend on your own preferences and style of personal development.
Self-Help After Divorce
While therapy is an important source of support during a separation, you can also support yourself through the process by:[7][9]
- Being patient with yourself and accepting that periods of uncertainty are perfectly normal. Give yourself permission to function suboptimally while you heal and regroup.
- Talking to friends and family members about what you’re going through. You could also join a support group for people experiencing divorce to hear from people in a similar position to you. Isolating from the world can make adjustment disorder worse, as it can lead to higher levels of anxiety.
- Trying a new activity or revisiting an old one can get you back in touch with what matters to you. Depending on the hobby, it might support your physical health or social life, which can have a positive effect on your emotional well-being.
- Journaling regularly about your feelings, what matters to you, and what’s helping you feel good can keep you in touch with yourself. Journaling helps you express your feelings and gain perspective when you reread your thoughts.
- Setting boundaries with your former spouse may be an important self-care strategy during this time. If conversations frequently become heated power struggles, it may be necessary to walk away and return when you can both speak calmly.
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Find Therapy for Divorce Adjustment Disorder at Mission Connection
The mental health effects of separation and divorce can be different for everyone. While some feel loss and loneliness, others feel hurt and anger. The particular types of help people need after divorce can vary a great deal.
For these reasons, we offer personalized, evidence-based therapies and support at Mission Connection. As well as offering a wide range of approaches for many mental health conditions, each service is customized to your personal needs and preferences.
Whether you want support for managing the anxiety symptoms brought on by adjustment disorder or for rebuilding your identity after separating from a spouse, our licensed professionals can help. We offer several options for effective outpatient treatment, including in-person programs at our locations in California, Virginia, and Washington, virtual telehealth, and a hybrid program that combines in-person and virtual care.
Mission Connection is Joint Commission-accredited. We also accept almost all insurance providers, so that your recovery is not hindered due to financial issues.
If you’re looking for compassionate care, reach out to us online or call us at 866-833-1822 to find out how we can support your long-term recovery.
